An Incomplete List

THINGS MY HUSBAND DOESN'T LIKE

Puerto Ricans.

"Why are they so proud of their heritage? They've never done anything to be proud of."

Green Bell Peppers. The other colors are acceptable.

The French.

The people, the country, the culture, the language, the cuisine, everything.

People Who Claim That They Speak A Language More Proficiently Than Someone Else.

People Who Want To Talk About Wine.

Elitism.

Pajamas That Match.

Jeans and how "everyone wears them!" The phenomenon is so outrageous to him.

10 Day Vacations.

Apple Computers.

Fruits.

They're "over-rated".

People Who Walk For Exercise.

Tattoos.

Time Warner Cable.

Nacho Cheese.

The Cold/Being Cold.

Anything That Costs More Than 5 Dollars.

Telemundo.

Holidays.

(Christmas, Valentine's Day....all of them)

Hippies/Hipsters/Yuppies.

Organic Anything.

Vegans/Vegetarians.

Corporate Philanthropy.

"Instead of donating money to charity, why can't they just give me a cheaper product?"

Bottled Water/Filtered Water.

Celebrities.

Teenage Celebrities.

With the exception of Taylor Swift, he knows all her songs. But he calls her "Swift Taylor".

Teenagers.

Onions.

Carbohydrates and Simple Sugars.

Things That Are Marketed As Being "All Natural".

He prefers chemicals, actually he loves chemicals.

Lines/Waiting

Cable News Networks

Children Who Run Near Him

"Look at that one, he's careening out of control."

Inefficiency

Romantic Comedies

Fat People

Do you see what a fine line I have to walk here?

God forbid a French Child runs past him while waiting in line for a Romantic Comedy starring a Teenage Celebrity who has a Tattoo behind a bunch of Fat People who smell like Onions, who are talking about Wine and Corporate Philanthropy and wearing Jeans.

I'd have to talk him down off a ledge.

And these are just the things I can think of off the top of my head.