An Army Wife Blog: Graduation

Tomorrow at 1300 my Army spouse will participate in a graduation ceremony with his platoon. It won't be anywhere near as dramatic as the picture above, hopefully. I'm supposed to be there on time, look pretty and I'm not allowed to bring in any Starbucks. It's being held at the Main Chapel and that, I'm told, would be inappropriate. The Main Chapel looks a little like the creepy Post Office on Tustin Ave in Orange near Quan's Rockin' Sushi (before they suffered too many health code violations and got turned into an Arby's). I will no doubt be a little nauseous.

Here's a list of things I anticipate making me nauseous tomorrow:

1. This building gives me the willies, I hold my breath when I drive by.

2. Army people will be there.

3. Sergeant Hall may possibly be there. This guy scares the crap out of me. Sergeant Hall walked in on my husband's lips briefly touching mine once and when the yelling was over I didn't even know where my own asshole was. I almost melted into a puddle on the floor. It was impressive. I've never been in the presence of such professional yelling. Husband later described the incident as a light scolding.

4. The last time he graduated, from Basic Training at Fort Jackson, I couldn't eat for 3 days. I think I still have some lingering nausea from that particularly traumatic time period.

In an effort to exorcise that lingering unease, and in preparation for tomorrow's sweaty event, here are some pictures from Fort Jackson. I'm going to practice not panicking.

Fort Jackson's Graduation Ceremony/Family Day

July 2009

So after navigating the labyrinth of Fort Jackson and then negotiating some seats in the shade, we noticed some teeny tiny soldiers across the field from us, hiding in the trees. The ceremony begins with a hundred different people of varying levels of importance saying something into the microphone. I can't remember a single thing any one of them said. It took forever, but luckily it was exactly 100 degrees and no one could tell if I was sweating because of the heat or the imminent panic attack. At this point I had not spoken a word since breakfast.

After everyone and their moms had said their piece at the microphone, this unfortunate event happened. They put on a Terrorist Show for us, complete with loud scary bangs and Arabs. Because seeing my husband for the first time in 10 weeks wasn't a compelling enough reason to attend the ceremony. I also need to be entertained.

The crowd went crazy, they started chanting "Ter-ror-ist, Ter-ror-ist."

Rednecks.

Then the US soldiers acting as US soldiers kicked ass and took names.

And the US soldiers acting as Arabs got taken away. I swear I heard someone in the crowd yell, "Waterboard them!" I've never been so uncomfortable, until our friend Sergeant Hall that is.

Before I was able to begin processing the many layers of weird and I'm pretty sure racist the Terrorist Show was, somebody put some purple smoke out on the field and our guys got to run through it! It looked like fun and someone tripped! That calmed me down a little bit. I think I was able to smile and nod when my new sister-in-law asked if I was going to be all right.

Bless her heart.

When they were all lined up in an orderly fashion according to Company, we got to go down on the field and find the one we wanted! That was the best part. Ours was in "C" Company. As I've since learned you're supposed to say "Charlie Company" not just "C Company" with a big dumb grin on your face. Paola (sister) found ours, just as I was on the verge of psychotic breakdown.

I will be forever grateful.

I actually love this picture. Our body language is perfect and nobody has too many chins. Obviously I can see that it's blurry, but its my favorite anyhow.

This is also very nice.

This is Charlie Company on Graduation Day. Can you find my husband? I've been over this picture more times than the Zapruder Film, and I've located an eyebrow that looks suspicious.